Curious is how I'd describe it.
Girls? Boys? Both?
Boyfriend = love...
Random girls = lust and/or crush
I have a crush on like 58476023 girls now and it is kind of stressing me out because I was pretty sure I was straight like a month ago.
Though, in retrospect, many of my fantasies involved other girls. Huh.
But now I have to go through the lovely event of telling my boyfriend about my insatiable feelings.
I kind of already told him but he is so sweetly stubborn. Argh. I can't even get mad at him because when I tell him about my desire to satiate my curiosity, he is like "Well does it matter if you have me?"
And I am like "AGH I DON'T WANT TO BE CONFUSED FOREVER!"
Meh. mehmehmehmeh.
I don't think he gets it. Or that I don't want to be with anybody else but that I do want to try this so I can have a more concrete understanding.
I don't know what to do. Ultimatum? I REALLY DO NOT want to break up with him or vice versa.
I really don't want to say anything. But I know I'll do it. I will fool around. I KNOW IT.
And I don't want to lie to him. But I know he will try to talk me out of it and he will do it because he is so darn convincing.
jfkdajlgjdli!!!
I always fuck myself over. Without fail.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
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